Ways to Minimize Injury During Sex If You Have a Disability
I recently sustained an injury while having sex, which sounds a lot sexier than it was—which will also be a lot more funny in the near future than it was when it occurred! While I recover, I figured it would be a great opportunity to highlight some ways to minimize risk of injuries during sex if you have a disability, and ways to help yourself or partner, if injured accidentally and unintentionally. Even with the best intentions, injuries can happen, but there are ways to minimize risks. Pain can be a fantastic, erotic stimulant, but pain from a sex injury is not the case here.
There are certain and specific trust considerations that factor in for a person when living with a disability and participating in their sex life. I believe it is extremely important to have sexual and intimate partners who listen and care about what you need while you’re together. Who want you as you are and are willing to learn and try new things, and will stop and try something else when needed too. There are risks with sex inherently already, and your physical safety and well being is always a priority too.
Honesty is Your Best Policy
Be honest about your capacity. It’s important to know your strength, even if you don’t know theirs or have had sex with your partner thousands of times. Everyone has different thresholds and fluctuations. Pay attention to yours and your partners.
Prioritize your intimacy wellness. What do you have? What do you need?
Talk about what works best for you, and more importantly here, what does not work for you. Try what you’re comfortable with. Stop or reposition any time you need to. Don’t assume your partner can or cannot do something without asking them first. Communicate with your partners before, during and afterwards. Check in with each other and yourselves.
“Does that still feel good baby? Do you enjoy the way I’m touching you?”
“Can I move you towards me a little more baby?”
The best lovers prioritize your pleasure AND well being!
4. Pay attention to your partner’s disability, and how it affects them. Learn about their condition, do some fun research for ways to make sex and intimacy as accessible and pleasurable as possible. Touch your partners with mindfulness and intention.
5. Accessorize with accessories! Use whatever you need that works for you. Sex toys are not the only incredible resource for increasing and enhancing pleasure and sexual wellness. There are quality options for pillows, waist straps, wedges, harnesses, sex swings, and sex furniture available to add in to your sexual wellness whenever needed.
6. Research sexual positions that you could try, watch ethical porn, search erotic art for visual reference and pleasure, change positions gently when needed.
7. Have sex as tenderly as you need if you’re in a flare and still down to fuck. Pay close attention to where you hurt most and position yourself and partner in other ways that will compromise your pain less. Reposition, or Stop anytime you want or need to.
What To Do If You Do Injure Yourself
1. Speak up immediately if you feel something is too painful or not okay anymore.
2. Stop and assess yourself. Is it an emergency or serious injury that requires medical attention? Can you recover and rest at home, otherwise?
If you can recover without medical attention, be sure to take it easy wherever it hurts and rest your body. Talk about what happened to your partner. If your partner injured themselves during sex, comfort them! Be supportive and help ease the embarrassment together.
It’s normal to feel embarrassed, frustrated in more ways than one, and in more pain than you anticipated. Be honest about your pain and circumstances. Be considerate to the delicate situation. Learn from your experiences for next time.
4. If ice or heat can be useful in the area affected, ice can help reduce inflammation and heat can soothe soreness.
5. Body positioning for as much comfort as you can find. Rest for recovery.
6. Pain management, however that looks best to you.
You can still want to get used like a fire hose, and tossed around like a personal pizza pie in the making. You can still live an extraordinary and kinky sex life with a disability. Be honest about your circumstances, limitations and pain. The best lovers will still eat you up and enjoy you, however delicately you need.