Cummunication

Talking looks a lot like having Sex. Not only is communication key for sexual relationships or partners, verbal expression also has quite a few cheeky similarities in how they operate. Talking has changes in tempo and enunciations, vibration from sounds, natural pauses from breath or continuation after a sentence. There are silly noises when we laugh or squeal or hiccup, and there is emphasis on the present tense, even in climax to the story. Communication is also written word, sign language, and equally so can phone sex, sexting or ASL.

Talking to certain people might feel more natural or enjoyable than with others, and the same exists in intimacy. With sexual partners and relationships, it’s important to consider how talking about sex can add to more enriching intimacy.

We learn about sex and intimacy by talking about sex, having sex, thinking about sex, and through communicative ways that lead to variable intimacy. How do we learn about anything, otherwise, if we don’t practice and talk about it in some form or another?

We also reduce stigmas on living with STI’s and HIV and preventing them, by speaking more openly about barrier and protection methods prior to sex, open honesty about status, outbreaks, and positive assurance for regular testing for sexual health.

Keep Cummunicating About Sex, For All The Reasons

If this is something you are not already doing regularly, here’s an opportunity for you. Start talking about what your intimate mind, heart and body feels, thinks and believes. Share yourself with someone safe and consensually, who you can communicate uncensored with. Whether with a partner, therapist, trusting friend, or coach. Talk about sex before you have sex with people or your partners. Talk about sex to figure out if you want to have sex with them, to discuss protection methods preferences and non negotiables. If you have a disability or chronic health condition, communication is also essential in reducing and avoiding injury, fatigue, flare ups, etc, too. Your needs matter greatly. Keep talking and communicating about intimacy, desires, fantasies, feelings, and fears.

Communication is a major turn on! To know what you and your partners want to try out together. Talking about sex before can help act on fantasies, explore new sensations of pleasure, prevent injury, establish perimeters of the relationship, creates safety in intimacy from each other, expand erotic appetites, and establish what you do not want sexually. That’s just to name a few! It’s a powerful way to rev up the brain in arousal and desire.

Dirty Talker

Erotic conversation, also commonly referred to as dirty talk, is a perfect way to blend both sex and conversation together in a most complimentary way. Don’t underestimate its effectiveness on any consenting sexual or intimate relationship. Think about what you would want to hear someone say to you that arouses you deeply, or brings out your kinkiest bliss. Think about the phrasing, emphasis on which words you want to hear, the tone they’re speaking to you, and the proximity of their lips to yours as they seduce you.

Talking can be more natural for people than it is for others, and conversely, sexual expression comes easier than for others too. Everyone is allowed to go at their own pace, capacity, and preferences as long as it’s not yucking someone else’s yum. Intimacy Coaching is another form of communication toward sex and intimacy too. Coaches work with clients to help them learn, accept and embrace their own desires, pleasures, fantasies, and personal preferences. In respect to partners, coaching can help build and develop better communication patterns and ways to open up your own sexuality, and how partners individually and interpersonally define and prefer intimacy.

Arousal should be shared by your intimate partners from the intentions of your touch, communication, care, penetration and presence. Arousing them, arouses you. Getting to know what they crave, and honoring what you want too and enjoying the blend of both worlds in acceptance.

Our Brain is Our Best Sexual Organ

In the sex education world, a common phrase is expressed about our brilliant brains. The brain is our leading sexual organ as humans. What’s felt in the body is first “felt” in the brain. Arousal starts in the brain, is connected with imagination of the mind. Arousal, orgasms, pleasure, and intimate connection with ourselves and others physically impacts us in important ways. Our organs, nervous system, hormones, heart rate, neurotransmitters, pain levels, and the activation of immune systems can be impacted by arousal, pleasure and orgasms. Don’t underestimate the power your own orgasms, or your version of pleasure, can teach and show you with imagination and expression.

Talking about sex can make sex more arousing, enjoyable, and safer. It can help connect people more deeply and honestly, open pleasure and expand knowledge, ideas, ways to experience a whole world of sex and intimacy, exactly as you like it.

When adults are consenting to erotic engagement, communication only makes an experience more pleasurable, connecting, considerate, and enjoyable. You deserve your pleasure. Go get it.